Bullying is the repeated infliction of harm or distress on another person with the intent to control, intimidate, or otherwise damage another. It comes in all forms—including verbal torment, social attacks, physical aggression, and taunting—and can happen both in person or through social media or the internet at large. Whether bullying is brief or ongoing, it can have hurtful and long-lasting consequences that manifest in psychological or physical damage.
Sadly, bullying is quite common. And while pervasive in elementary through high school, it can also occur in other settings including with siblings in childhood and far into adulthood among work colleagues, work supervisors, friends groups, and other social communities.
According to Pacer National Bullying Prevention Center, approximately 20% of students report being bullied, citing issues like being name-called, being the subject of rumors, physical bullying, and being left out of social activities.
The Workplace Bullying Institute found that 30% of workers have directly dealt with bullying at the office and 43.2% dealt with bullying while working remotely.
What Are the Different Types of Bullying?
7 Common Reasons Why People Bully
Given how damaging bullying is to others, it’s understandable to wonder why people bully in the first place. This article explores common reasons why people bully.
They Have Emotional Trauma
You might be familiar with the phrase, “hurt people hurt people.” While personal trauma doesn’t give anyone an excuse to hurt others, sometimes it can give us insight into how the other person works.
“So often, people that intentionally seek to intimidate others are hurting due to their own difficult life experiences, and they lack the coping skills to manage their pain in a healthy way so they externalize their hurt onto others,” explains Michelle Felder, LCSW, therapist, and founder of Parenting Pathfinders.
They’re Insecure
Any community can have unspoken tiers of “social status,” which can prompt people with bullying tendencies to taunt others for social gain. They ultimately feel insecure and bully others as a means to fit in or make themselves feel superior.
“Cliques and the desire for social status are often a breeding ground for bullying,” says Limor Weinstein, MA, LMHC. “The same is true in workplaces. Jealousy and a desire to get to the ‘top’ can lead to belittling others around you, which can happen especially in competitive work environments.”
Being mean to others also has the effect of getting others to treat you better since they don’t want to become the target of bullying. Bullies may note this (perhaps even subconsciously) and use it to their advantage.
They’ve Been Bullied
Sometimes people bully because they themselves have been the victim of bullying. In a way, they may feel as though bullying others can protect them from the familiar experience of being bullied themselves.
Michelle Felder, LCSW
Some people try to get ahead of the bullying they anticipate experiencing and will bully others in an attempt to protect themself by striking first. This is an unhealthy defense mechanism but is a common experience that is often at the root of someone's decision to bully.
— Michelle Felder, LCSW
It’s Learned Behavior
Other times, bullying is learned behavior. For instance, if a child witnesses an adult bullying others—or is the subject of bullying from their own parent or adult—then they may repeat that behavior. Among adults, bullying can become a toxic part of the culture at work or in other social communities and is ultimately accepted as the norm.
They Have Poor Social Skills
It’s also possible that someone that chooses to bully has limited social skills or has a hard time getting along with others in general.
Essentially, they lack appropriate coping skills to manage and respond to uncomfortable social situations in a healthy way.
For example, Felder says they may be resentful or jealous of the person they’re targeting, or they may feel like they aren’t getting the attention that they want from them.
They Feel Anonymous
Online bullying has been on the rise for years because that is where so many of us spend our time. The digital sphere has the additional allure of seeming more anonymous.
Weinstein says, “Online bullies are often somewhat detached from their cyber activity, hiding behind a screen and unleashing their inner bully.” This can empower them to be crueler than they’d ever be in person.
They Lack Empathy
Some bullies simply lack care, so they have no problem dominating, blaming, intimidating, or taking advantage of others. In that sense, they lack the ability to relate to another person's experience and understand how their terrible behavior negatively impacts people.
“They target weaker people and refuse to acknowledge the repercussions of their behavior. They are driven by a desire for power and attention,” says Weinstein. “No matter what sort of bully they are, they have not learned to be kind, compassionate, or respectful.”
How to Deal With Bullies
No matter what type of bullying you or a loved one experiences, it’s painful. Here are some ways you can help deal with bullies now and move forward:
- Acknowledge the behavior is unacceptable: The first and most important step is to be aware of the important fact that the behavior is happening and is not acceptable.
- Don’t bully back: It’s understandable to want to fight back, but bullying the bully in return isn’t the answer. Chimere G. Holmes, LPC, says, “There is no need to compromise your good standing. Fighting back will not solve anything and sadly, it satisfies the bully and can become too dangerous.” In fact, studies show that fighting back can even make things worse.
- Tell someone: Whether that be a teacher, boss, colleague, parent, or friend, let others know about the situation. These figures can help intervene and advocate for you or the person being bullied.
- Hold them accountable: Be direct about the impact the bully has on you or a loved one. You can say things like, “The way that you’re speaking to me isn’t OK. Please don’t do it again.” Be specific about what’s problematic, be clear that it’s unacceptable to you, and give the person that’s bullying an opportunity to make a change.
- Discuss bullying with your child: Younger children know that being bullied hurts, but they may not recognize it’s not normal or OK. Felder says it can be helpful for parents and caregivers to talk with children about how to identify bullying, how to react to it, and how to help others being bullied.Additionally, inform your child that they should not bully anyone else because research shows that bullying has negative mental/physical health outcomes for victims.
- Get a safety buddy: When dealing with an unrelenting bully, it can be helpful to stick close to others you trust. Not only can they help intervene and act as a witness, but they can deter the bully in general.
- Become an upstander: One of the most effective things a bystander can do is to become an “upstander.” This is someone who boldly speaks up to stop the bullying in its tracks. Simple ways to intervene are to question the bully’s behavior out loud, change the topic, or recruit an authority figure.
- Recognize that the bullying isn't about you: People who are bullied may feel like there is something wrong with them and that's why they are picked on. The problem is always the person who bullies, not the person who receives the abuse.
- Avoid reacting and walk away when possible: People often bully in order to feel in control of others due to the reactions their abuse creates. By not reacting to the behaviors and walking away, you are able to deprive them of this sense of control. While behaviors may escalate in an attempt to force a response, they are likely to give up when they don't get a response. If you are dealing with cyberbullying or hostile work behavior, practice only responding when it is necessary or important to your work duties.
- Avoid/minimize the risk of crossing paths with the bully: Look for ways that you can minimize or avoid contact with the bully. This might entail avoiding places where they hand out or changing your route to work.
- Practice empowering body language: Research suggests that people tend to feel more confident and empowered when they stand up straight, broaden their shoulders, stand with feet apart, puff out their chest, and point their chin up. Bullies tend to feel more intimidated by people they perceive as confident.
- Your safety comes first: If you have received threats that cause concern for your safety or the safety of your loved ones, contact local authorities to take steps to ensure your safety.
What's the Best Way to Deal With Bullies?
A Word From Verywell
Bullying is unfortunately a common part of the human social sphere, but it doesn’t mean it’s OK or that it should be ignored. By better understanding why someone might be bullying you or a loved one, you can address the issue head-on and help stop the bullying. And remember, another person’s choice to bully is about them and their internal trauma—not you.
People are more likely to experience depression if they have been bullied, particularly if the abuse occurs over a long period of time. If you have been bullied and are experiencing symptoms of depression, talking to a mental health professional can help.
The Psychology of Cyberbullying
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
By Wendy Rose Gould
Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a decade of experience covering health and wellness topics.
See Our Editorial Process
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FAQs
The 6Rs of bullying prevention: Rules, Recognize, Report, Respond, Refuse, and Replace, are not a program, but a comprehensive process for reducing bullying from the inside out, involving the entire school community.
What are the causes and effects of bullying essay? ›
In conclusion, there are several causes of bullying such as rage, increased anger, revenge, jealousy and the urge to be in control. On the other hand, bullying has several severe effects such as self-destruction behaviors, development of nervous habits, and the risk of developing anxiety or depression or both.
What are three reasons why we should stop bullying? ›
Bullying can result in physical injury, social and emotional distress, self-harm, and even death. It also increases the risk for depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, lower academic achievement, and dropping out of school.
What is the reason for conducting the study of bullying? ›
Having a better understanding of bullying can help you identify children who need help – whether they are the one being bullied or doing the bullying. By taking action, you can prevent both short-term and long-term negative outcomes.
What is the 6 Rs example? ›
6Rs: Rethink, Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Repair
These are all useful terms to explore reducing the impact of technology on people and the environment.
What are the 3 factors that motivate perpetrators of cyberbullying? ›
8 Motives Behind Why Kids Cyberbully
- Revenge.
- Victim-Blaming.
- Boredom.
- Peer Pressure.
- Groupthink.
- Power Hunger.
- Daring.
- Lack of Empathy.
Bullying is linked to depression and other mental health conditions. Common signs that an Individual is being regularly subjected to ridicule and mistreatment can include low self-esteem, feeling down, or losing interest in previously enjoyed activities. Children, teens, and adults can be diagnosed with depression.
How effective is bullying prevention? ›
Research shows that both students and educators benefit from bullying prevention efforts. Results from a comprehensive and systematic review of research on the effectiveness of school-based programs to reduce bullying show that they effectively reduce bullying by 20 to 23 percent and victimization by 17 to 20 percent.
What is bullying in persuasive essay? ›
Bullying: it is repeated and deliberate misuse of energy in relationships through repeated verbal, physical, and/or social behavior that aims to cause physical, social, and/or mental damage.
What is the effect of bullying essay? ›
Feeling of sadness and loneliness
One of the most common effects of bullying is the feeling of loneliness and sadness. Kids who get bullied at school are seen spending lesser time with their parents and siblings. These kids also refrain themselves from going out as well as mingling with peers.
Examples of how students can do this are:
- Support others who have been hurt or harmed.
- Treat others with kindness.
- Be more accepting of people's differences.
- Help include those who are left out.
Based on Volk's evolutionary hypothesis of bullying, we expected that bullies would rate their health better than nonbullies, would engage in sexual activity earlier, have a greater number of partners, as well as have given birth to or fathered more children.
Should you talk about bullying in a college essay? ›
Of course it is. You can write about bullying, coming out, political opinions, death and loss, depression, anxiety, drugs, religion, or any other sensitive topic in your college essay. In fact, you can write anything you want as long as you have a good reason for doing so.
Why do most instances of bullying of youth go unreported? ›
Fear of Retaliation
Many kids prefer to weather the storm alone than risk escalating the problem. They may even believe that if they keep quiet, the bullying will eventually end. If they do talk to an adult, it is often with the promise that the adult will not report the incidents or take other action.
What are all 5 Rs? ›
The 5 R's: Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Repurpose, Recycle.
What are the 5 R's meaning? ›
The FIVE Rs: Reduce, Reuse, Repair, Rot, Recycle
If you have fully embraced "Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle," there are two more “Rs" to learn. And, really, the list goes on: refuse, repaint, repurpose, refurbish, reclaim...
What are the 5 rs? ›
Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Repurpose, Recycle – that offers improvement to the environment.
What are the 4 R's for kids? ›
A Classroom Activity Guide to Teach Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and Rot.
What are the 7 R's of sustainability? ›
Getting started with the 7Rs: Rethink, Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Repair, Regift, Recycle.
What is the golden rule of cyberbullying? ›
Golden Rule also prohibits cyber bullying, which is defined as the use of any electronic communication device to engage in bullying or intimidation.
One common form of cyberbullying is known as body shaming or making critical comments about the shape or size of someone else's body. This type of cyberbullying can take place on all forms of social media.
What is the level of cyberbullying? ›
The above literature review and analysis categorizes the influencing factors of cyberbullying into four levels: (1) Personal level, including gender, age, personality traits, well-being, empathy, length or frequency of Internet uses, social behavior type, and digital citizenship; (2) Family level, including ...
Are depressed people hostile? ›
Another large study by a different research group looked at more than 500 people who had been diagnosed with major depression. It found that more than half showed "overt irritability/anger," and that this anger and irritability appeared to be associated with more severe, chronic depression.
What is the definition of emotional bullying? ›
Emotional bullying is the use of words to mock, shock, tease, or ostracize another person. While it can have a physical component, that isn't the primary means of bullying in this case. This type of bullying can be even more damaging, in the long run, than physical harm.
Do 37% of kids associate depression with online bullying? ›
[National Crime Prevention Council (2021). Stop Cyberbullying Before it Starts] 37% of kids associate depression with online bullying. 19% of students who have been cyberbullied say that the experience negatively affected their feelings about themselves.
What interventions stop bullying? ›
Prevention Strategies
- Clearly communicate policy and protocols for bullying behaviors to all staff, students and parents.
- Empower bystanders to promote and take responsibility for creating a safe and welcoming environment.
- Provide a means for safely reporting bullying behaviors.
It found that bullying contributed to mental health difficulties but also that the effects of bullying generally dissipated over a two-year period.
Are school effective in stopping bullying? ›
Anti-bullying programs are not as distinguished and effective as they could be, and sometimes have the opposite effect they were intending. In fact, anti-bullying programs can lead to children getting bullied more often.
Is bullying an example of conflict theory? ›
Bullying is different from conflict. Conflict is a disagreement or argument in which both sides express their views. Bullying is negative behavior directed by someone exerting power and control over another person.
What does bullying mean in vocabulary? ›
/ˈbʊliɪŋ/ Bullying is the act of intimidating someone else. Threatening to beat up your little brother if he doesn't clean your room for you is most certainly an act of bullying. You may have heard of the word bully, which is a person, often young, who harasses others.
Bullying research has traditionally been dominated by largescale cohort studies focusing on the personality traits of bullies and victims. These studies focus on bullying prevalence, risk and protective factors, and negative outcomes. A limitation of this approach is that it does not explain why bullying happens.
Where does the word bully come from? ›
The earliest meaning of English bully was “sweetheart.” The word was probably borrowed from Dutch boel, “lover.” Later bully was used for anyone who seemed a good fellow, then for a blustering daredevil.
What are the effects of gender based bullying? ›
Witnessing gender-based bullying/harassment can also have negative effects, such as reducing one's sense of personal safety, even if one has not personally experienced harassment.
How do u start an essay? ›
Your essay introduction should include three main things, in this order:
- An opening hook to catch the reader's attention.
- Relevant background information that the reader needs to know.
- A thesis statement that presents your main point or argument.
The Bully Box is safe place for students to anonymously report bullying, as described above. The Bully Box provides a "voice" to those being victimized, as well as empowering up-standers, while simultaneously allowing reporters to refrain from becoming directly involved in the incident.
What type of movement is anti bullying? ›
Student Empowerment. The anti-bullying movement was based on the premise or theory that students are unable to stop bullying on their own. It views kids as victims, completely powerless to change their situation without outside intervention.
What is an anti bullying club? ›
The Anti Bullying Coalition (ABC) is a club where students find ways to make a difference and promote a culture of kindness. The group participates in several anti-bullying initiatives and activities to promote tolerance in our schools.
Is bullying a dependent variable? ›
The dependent variable is mental health. The independent variables are bullying, socioeconomic status, and gender.
Which of the following describes social bullying? ›
Leaving someone out constantly and encouraging others to do the same. Socially excluding someone online or negative comments on posts and images. Damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance.
What is the main idea of pink against bullying? ›
Pink Shirt Day is about working together to stop bullying by celebrating diversity and promoting kindness and inclusiveness. It's about creating a community where all people feel safe, valued and respected, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, age, ability, religion or cultural background.
Admissions look for essays where student highlights their growth and introspection, so your essay should focus on you learning and growing as a person. Don't just brag or describe. Your essay should have a moment of revelation: what did you learn from your experience?
What are the author's three main arguments beat bullying? ›
What are the author's three main arguments? The three main arguments that the author uses are; bullying can scare children away from school, it makes school unsafe for children who might already have problems at home and it can cause long term emotional scars and problems.
Who are youth typically abused by? ›
Abuse often occurs in the home by parents, stepparents, siblings, and other youth and/or caretakers. It also occurs in schools, churches, and youth-serving organizations. Regardless of what you have heard, there is no known profile of an abuser or child molester.
Why do we need to study about bullying? ›
Having a better understanding of bullying can help you identify children who need help – whether they are the one being bullied or doing the bullying. By taking action, you can prevent both short-term and long-term negative outcomes.
What is steps to respect bullying program? ›
Steps to Respect®: A Bullying Prevention Program is a research-based, comprehensive bullying prevention program developed for grades 3 through 6 by Committee for Children, a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving children's lives through effective social and emotional learning programs.
What is an oath to stop bullying? ›
BY SIGNING THIS PLEDGE I AGREE TO: • Treat others respectfully. Try to include those who are left out. Refuse to bully others. Refuse to watch, laugh or join in when someone is being bullied.
What are the fundamental aspects of anti bullying policies and procedures? ›
It is important to ensure that the bullying policy has clear definitions of the different forms of bullying such as name calling, social bullying or cyberbullying. Ensure that the policy has information on review dates and anti-bullying awareness events. Staff training is crucial to a positive anti-bullying policy.
Are schools effective in stopping bullying? ›
According to research, they don't have much of an impact at all. In fact, bullying and anti-bullying efforts have almost synonymous results because both have negative effects on people's futures. As bullied children grow older, their social and emotional lives tend to be less content than people who were not bullied.
What is an example of a school anti bullying policy? ›
Statement of Intent
As a school we take bullying and its impact seriously. Bullying of any form is not tolerated in our school, whether carried out by a child or an adult. Staff, children and parents or carers will be made aware of the school's position on bullying. Bullying behaviour is unacceptable in any form.
How can we reach out to others anti bullying? ›
How you could have got involved!
- Access our free primary and secondary school packs (launching in early September)
- Get involved in Odd Socks Day at school, work, or at home.
- Nominate a member of staff for our School Staff Award! ( ...
- Pledge your support for Anti-Bullying Week.
- Get involved on social media!
All 50 states have anti-bullying laws. These laws often have the strongest protections for students. And they can help put an immediate stop to the bullying. A typical state anti-bullying law requires a school to report, document and investigate bullying within a specific number of days.
Which of the following act is considered physical bullying? ›
Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage.
What are the two aims of the campaign on bullying? ›
Setting Objectives
Prevent the development of new bullying problems; and. Create a friendly and positive social climate at school so that students, in particular bullies, interacted and functioned better at and outside of school.
Which of the following is the stakeholder in the bullying prevention? ›
Stakeholders include school administrators, such as principals, superintendents, and members of the school board; teachers; other school staff, such as guidance counselors, paraprofessionals, librarians, and bus drivers; school resource officers and other law enforcement personnel; parents; other members of the ...
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